Five Books To Read to Help You Find (and Keep) Love in 2024
Navigating the dating scene in the digital age presents its challenges. While technology facilitates virtual connections, it paradoxically contributes to a sense of isolation. Despite this, dating apps remain the predominant means for individuals to discover their significant others.
In addition to producing professional photos for clients' dating profiles, I engage in consultations that delve into their self-perception and online dating experiences. These discussions aim to prompt introspection, providing a what I hope is a valuable foundation for their quest to find love.
Beyond enhancing profile pictures, some clients seek broader insights to improve their overall dating experiences. In such cases, I often recommend books, some of which are listed below.
If you find yourself grappling with feelings of loss, confusion, anger, frustration, or apathy regarding your love life, the books recommended below can provide valuable insights.
It's essential to note that holding a mirror up to oneself can be uncomfortable. These books will challenge your perspectives on life in ways you may not be accustomed to. However, if you're open to the experience, I encourage you to explore them.
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
If you're going to pick just one book from this list, make it Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It's hands down the best book on communication. My only regret is not getting to it sooner.
“Anger is a result of life-alienating thinking that is disconnected from needs. It indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyze and judge somebody rather than focus on what we are needing and not getting.”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden practically defined the concept of self-esteem in modern psychology with his groundbreaking book. Titled as it is, "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" lays out these pillars, each demanding real-life action. If you're after significant changes in your life, this is the book you need.
“When we have unconflicted self-esteem, joy is our motor, not fear. It is happiness that we wish to experience, not suffering that we wish to avoid. Our purpose is self-expression, not self-avoidance or self-justification. Our motive is not to “prove” our worth but to live our possibilities.”
—Nathaniel Branden
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
Cheryl Strayed is undoubtedly one of my favorite authors. This book compiles letters and responses from her advice column, "Dear Sugar." Strayed, having experienced a life brimming with both love and gut-wrenching pain, crafts words that are precise, comforting, and will undoubtedly leave you yearning to become a better person.
“Nobody's going to do your life for you. You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or poor, out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter what unjust, sad, sucky things befall you. Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It's up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out.”
— Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
The Road Less Traveled is a classic self-help book that explores the journey of personal and spiritual growth. The book begins with the famous opening line, "Life is difficult," and goes on to discuss the importance of facing and embracing life's challenges as a means of personal development.
“Genuine love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually cultivates it, even at the risk of separation or loss. The ultimate goal of life remains the spiritual growth of the individual, the solitary journey to peaks that can be climbed only alone.”
― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
It'll come as no surprise to anyone who knows me well that Ego is the Enemy is on this list. Throughout the book, Holiday shares stories of both historical and contemporary figures who either succumbed to the pitfalls of ego or managed to overcome it to achieve lasting success.
“When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real. What replaces ego is humility, yes—but rock-hard humility and confidence. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.”
― Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy
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